Body confidence and social media

* Just a little note: I wrote this blog post a year ago and looking back at it has made me realise how far I’ve come with my mental attitude towards my body as well as the genuine happiness and contentment I have within my own skin. I feel that the points I cover in this post are still relevant and they may be relatable for someone who is reading this. I also think it’s insightful for those of you who can relate to hear from me, someone who has experienced the exact same feelings, that I have come a long way! I don’t like to say that I have ‘overcome’ anything as, even in this post, I mention that I was in the best place I’d ever been in terms of self-contentment so this proves that our life is an ever-changing journey and there’s always room for growth. But, my attitude towards dealing with these emotions has changed incredibly and I want you to know that you have all the potential in the world to accept your true beauty and keep blossoming everday. I hope you enjoy this post ❤

With summer now in full bloom , the acceptance of having to strip down into our bikinis or trunks and exposing our bodies to the world is all too real. This can cause us to feel a lot of stress and anxiety around our body image, resulting in us comparing ourselves to those around us, or worse, those on social media.

A few weeks ago when I was trying some bikinis on for an upcoming holiday, I experienced a little episode which put a lot into perspective for me and I felt that it was important to share it as it may help to put some things into perspective for others too.

Growing up with body dysmorphia caused body image to be a dominating factor towards anxiety in my life. Therefore, in the past year and a half of practicing mindfulness and self acceptance, body image has been one of my key focuses to overcome. Despite being in the best place I have ever been in terms of self contentment, I still have to fight these comments that my ego mind is making on the daily. So, as I looked in the mirror in my bikini, whilst my ego mind was looking at every bit of stomach fat it could comment on, I tried as hard as I could to fight this.

Every time my mind said ‘ew’ I simply smiled and thanked the world for a healthy body. I believed that if I could fake this feeling of body confidence and dismiss these negative comments then finally I would be immune to them and my mind would fight them naturally. I can confidently say that this method definitely does work in most cases. By observing the comment that the ego mind is making and choosing not to identify it or act upon it but to use it to channel positive comments instead will train your mind into reacting this way when these comments arise again.  A year and a half ago I would’ve let myself get swallowed up  by all these negative comments, so the fact that I now have a certain amount of control over how I react to these comments proves that these exercises have worked for me.

However, I’ve only been on this journey for a short while, we’re only human and we live in an age where social media and the obsession of keeping up appearances is at the paramount of our society. So there are times where it’s easy to slip up and forget to live completely mindfully and sometimes it simply becomes exhausting to keep on top of it, especially if you are someone who struggles with these comments every single day.

Whilst I was prancing around in my bikini, repeating mantras for self acceptance, I decided to take a video of myself and post it on snapchat. The video included me dancing and smiling in my bikini in the mirror and anyone watching it would believe that I’m a happy, body confident individual who wanted to embrace my bikini body. Now that’s not totally false because in that moment that is exactly how I felt. I was chanting my mantra, using my inner energy and positivity to fight the negative comments of the ego mind and I was having a good time. Posting empowering videos and pictures to social media often works as a quick fix to a lot of people as we receive likes or comments from others which can temporarily boost our mood, so I was also using the video as a way fighting these negative comments and trying to prove to myself that I felt amazing.

However, about 5 minutes after posting the video I found myself in tears, exhausted by trying to fight the ego mind so I just let it take over me. Whilst the tears were flowing, I was receiving complimentary snapchats back from friends who were happy to see me in such a good way in my video. Now I was not in any way, shape or form kidding myself or others by appearing happy and body confident because at that time I felt so content. But the fact that less than 5 minutes after, I lost that contentment by letting one negative comment from my ego mind take over really made me put into perspective the images that we see of others on social media. Someone may have looked at that video and thought ‘I wish I was as body confident as her’ when in reality, five minutes later I wasn’t. This reminded me that we cannot compare ourselves to anyone else we see on social media.

My goal was to improve my body confidence and uploading a video was an exercise I used to help me, whereas to others it may have appeared that I was already completely there with body acceptance.

It made me realise that what people post on social media should not have any effect on our own goals, or our own journey. If a celebrity or big Instagram name puts up a picture in their underwear or on the beach and they look flawless, we shouldn’t let this effect how we feel towards the progress we are making on our own journey to achieve our own goals. Everyone is on their own journey, even celebrities are real people on their own journey of life. Stop being so invested in everything people post and stop taking everything we see on social media so literally because it’s all just a way for different people, famous or not, to document their journey of life. Not everything needs judgement.

The next time a beautiful girl or beautiful guy puts up an Instagram and you go to put yourself down, compare yourself or even judge their situation, just smile at yourself and think ‘they are just another human being in this big wide world, on their own journey, experiencing their own experiences and overcoming their own challenges’. Rather than getting yourself down when someone looks ‘happier’ than you feel or more ‘successful’ than you feel, just smile. Because that person is on their own journey, just like you, and we’re all in this world together.

Always work on yourself, doing things that make you happy and strengthening bonds with people who make you happy. What you see on social media can be completely deceiving. Be mindful of that, focus on yourself, achieve your own goals and love yourself.

Thank you for reading, I feel that writing this post was really beneficial in putting everything into perspective for me and I hope that you may have been able to relate and think about some things that will benefit your journey to happiness and contentment. We’re all in this world together but we’re all doing our own thing, so keep doing you 🙂

Lots of love,

Maisie xx